sleep deprived

tick-tock. listening to the fan spinning. hearing the rats behind my home calling out. and soon i'll be hearing the mengaji from the nearby mosque. ya Allah da kul5 knapa tak ley tido ni.. secara tiba2 segenggam keresahan melanda jiwa dan hati tanpa simpati. tak sedar kah bahawa skang ni dah kul5 pagi, kenapa perasaan bergolak datang di ketika ini.. mengapakah aku tiba2 rasa resah dan bersalah tak tentu pasal ni? guilty for my past wrongdoings and sins..

why does the heart feel sad and empty

when there is no reason for it to be

why does the mind continues to scream

when it does not need to yell and be crazy

in the cold and quiet of the night

my fingers dance out as if in flight

in the silence and calm of the darkness

i find myself overcome with sadness

faces of you you and you swim in my eyes

faces of those that i had fed love and lies

voices of friends i have lost, left without a sound

touch from previous loves, can no longer be found

reminiscing of what i had done

all the promises i had spoken

all the hopes i had broken

and all dreams i have shaken

what have i done? how could i do it too?

you all don't deserve what i did to you

these words might never reach them

but i must say it, say what a fool i am

i am sorry for the lies you didn't know

i am sorry for the actions you didn't deserve

i am sorry for the words i made and broke

i am sorry for the advantage that i took

i am sorry for using you and you and you

i am sorry for everything else i did to you

my list of faults are surely a lot longer

but forgetful me can think of no other

i hope the experience made you stronger

to better equip and prepare for the future

i wish you are now happy and content

i wish you have found a better replacement

i wish you a long and loving relationship

and i wish you found more than friendship

this sad soul wishes it could turn back time

this heart hopes you can forgive my soul's plight

it is no wonder i got what i got from her

'twas the Lord's way of saying "serves you right"

but He is merciful enough to give me another

it is up to me, then, what to do with her

i promise i will and i must treat her right

for she is now a beacon of hope and light

light that shines into the dark of my heart

giving hope to what was once torn apart

for this i thank You, and also to you dear.

~product of IzzJ 31May2011 540am~

Friendsforlife

late at night. it's freaking 3am and can't sleep. feeling melancholy and sentimental all of a sudden. don't ask me why. when it happens, it happens. and the feeling reminded me of an old evergreen song, "That's What Friends Are For". Dedicated for my friends, longtime and newly forged, current and previous, and for the one and only friend-turned girlfriend-turned ex-turned close friend. Just a gentle reminder, cuz that's what friends are for...

And I never thought I'd feel this way

And as far as I'm concerned

I'm glad I got the chance to say

That I do believe I love you

And if I should ever go away

Well, then close your eyes and try to feel

The way we do today

And then if you can remember

Keep smilin', keep shinin'

Knowin' you can always count on me, for sure

That's what friends are for

For good times and bad times

I'll be on your side forever more

That's what friends are for

Well, you came and opened me

And now there's so much more I see

And so by the way I thank you

Whoa, and then for the times when we're apart

Well, then close your eyes and know

These words are comin' from my heart

And then if you can remember, oh

Keep smiling, keep shining

Knowing you can always count on me, for sure

That's what friends are for

In good times, in bad times

I'll be on your side forever more

Oh, that's what friends are for

Whoa... oh... oh... keep smilin', keep shinin'

Knowin' you can always count on me, for sure

That's what friends are for

For good times and bad times

I'll be on your side forever more

That's what friends are for

Keep smilin', keep shinin'

Knowin' you can always count on me, oh, for sure

'Cause I tell you that's what friends are for

For good times and for bad times

I'll be on your side forever more

That's what friends are for (That's what friends are for)

On me, for sure

That's what friends are for

Keep smilin', keep shinin'

A Doctor in the House - The Memoirs of Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad

I finished reading "A Doctor In The House". Took me more than a week to finish the 800 page book. It's a memoir written by Tun Dr. Mahathir Mohamad himself, starting from his parents humble beginnings and his own upbringing in Malaya under British rule. it also gives us insight on his experience becoming one of the first Malay doctors in Kedah until the time he resigns as Malaysia's longest serving Prime Minister, up to the recent events occurring within this past year. Known for his outspoken - and often criticized - views and unmoving stand for anything he believes in, this is a must read for those who wish to see the life and times of Che' Det through his perspective.

Being born in a time where Malaysia has already become a prosperous and stable country, the memoir has made me come to realize a lot of things that i did not know or had been misinformed previously. Also made me be grateful for all his work and ideas that has made our country the way it is now, regardless of what others say.

This is the former premier's point of view, his perspective, the way he sees it. As with any historical event, there are always more than one side of the story. Any suggestions to other perspectives? I'd be glad to read them too.

Picture taken from http://mphonline.com/books/mahathir_mohamad.aspx

Of Shared House and the Past

Sent my lil' sis back to her university today with the whole family. Upon arrival, we saw the parents of her house mates hanging outside of the house, getting ready to leave. It was almost as if they were waiting for us.

Talking To You

From Bruno Mars' "Talking To The Moon", with a few adjustments to suit how I am feeling right now.. okay, I admit some of 'em are a bit weird, but... :)

I know you're somewhere out there
Somewhere in Kay Ell
I want you now
I want you now
My friends all think I'm crazy
But they don't understand
You're all I have
You're all I want

At night when the stars
light up my room
I sit by myself

Talking to the phone
Trying to get to you
In hopes you have
credit to use
To talk to me too
I'm not a fool
Cuz we're not alone
Talking to the phone

I'm feeling like I'm needed
The reason why you smile
They say
I've gone mad
Yeah
I've gone mad
But they don't know
what I know
Cause when the
sun goes down
Someone wants me there
Yeah
Wants me there with them


At night when the stars
light up my room
I sit by myself
Talking to the phone


Trying to get to you
In hopes you have
credit to use
To talk to me too
I'm not a fool
Cuz we're not alone
Talking to the phone


Ahh Ahh,
Ahh Ahh,


You always hear me calling..
Cause every night 
I text into the phone
Still trying to get to you


In hopes you have
credit to use
To talk to me too
I'm not a fool
Cuz we're not alone
Talking to the phone


I know you're somewhere out there
Somewhere in Kay Ell

The Trinity of Words

Please.

Thank you.

I love you.

In any language, these three sentences are perhaps the most powerful ever. A person who has experienced any or all three should be grateful. It has the power to make a bad day seem all better. They are powerful enough to turn a frown upside down. All it takes is one of them to make my day. 

Our elders told us to always mind our P's and Q's, which shows how well we were brought up and reflects our parents characteristics. To have someone say "I love you" - be it from a family member, friend, partner or special loved one -  is just heartwarming, it could fill a person's eyes with tears. 

So thank you dear reader. Please come again, if you like what you are seeing. I can't exactly say "I love you" to everyone, that's reserved for those who really deserve it. But you get the picture :)

Panda Panda Panda

went to see Kungfu Panda 2 with my cousins just now. hey we maybe adults, but that doesn't mean we're not kids at heart XD

it was great! a lot of comedy and action, as usual. although Po was getting a bit on my nerves with his stupidity at the wrong moment.  LOL. but that's Jack Black, what else can i say? cool. and also how could that animal be the main villain? seemed so wrong.. haha. a definite must watch :)

p/s: possibility of a 3rd installment perhaps, due to a little teaser at the end? hope so! :)

time is a friend and an enemy

Spare time. Sometimes it's good. sometimes it's bad. depends on how one uses it. I end up just watching the tube, surfing the 'Net or playing games. I prefer to have a good book to read and a cup of hot/cold drink (depending on weather, preferably caffeinated) and curl up on the couch. Heck, i could stay that way for hours if the book is a great read.

But sometimes, I end up thinking too much. Thinking bout what happened, what will be, what if, bout future events, bout the past. ughh... And usually thinking bout stuff that I miss, what lies in wait for me, the chances i missed, the wrong choices i made, doors that I left. Which then makes me feel sad. haha. you're probably thinking, "what the hell is this guy saying". i don't mind. I have a hard time understanding myself sometimes. Just needed an outlet of some sort, i guess..

Thank You~

Say thanks for time spent

Say thanks for the things we shared

Thanks for every laugh I was blessed to hear

Thanks for every smile I was fortunate to see

Say thanks for having you my dear

Yes even for awhile

Although short the loan was

Doesn't mean most easily forgotten

"Thank you"

Difficult to say, it is not

But the affect? Profound, it is
Say thanks for everything

Thank you Piqa ku

Thank You Allah

~~~~~~~~~~~

Words Are All I Have

Wordplay. A powerful tool for essays at school and university level, for reports at the workplace, even for everyday conversation, be it English or Malay.

First of All...

Heyya peeps. Never thought I'd see myself blogging here because I never really had a thing for keeping diaries or talking to myself, unless it's for work. What changed my mind was a suggestion from my dad, who thought I should start a blog to fill my time. Yes, I find myself with a lot of spare time now that I've finished my studies. At first I was skeptical. hell, I still am. But I'll see how things go first, after that only I can come to a conclusion :)

So here goes. The name given here is Izzu, so I'll stick to it for now. From a city in Selangor, Malaysia. And as stated previously, recently graduated. Seems so odd to say that word, "graduated".

Since this is my first attempt at this, I still don't have a scope or guideline on what I wanna write yet. I guess it'll develop along the way. And yeah, i don't really care if no one reads this, it's just an attempt at something new ^.^
But if there are any readers or followers, i would greatly appreciate any input or ideas.
til then, ciao~